“67% of candy contains razor blades … and that’s why you should give it to me.” – Dr. Freckles
“Hi, I’m Mr. News … and this is a pumpkin …”
I dream of creating a “Rhino Express” restaurant chain …
We breed pygmy rhino …
Let a family pick out their rhino …
Stick rhino on spit, cook for 45 minutes.
(it just falls off the bone)
A lot of activity in the building today … people going up and down stairs … makes me wonder if they’re clearing people out … or preparing to … as part of some op.
Life is cheap in #seattle now …
(the body dumps are filling up)
(Taco Time has a special on “meat tacos”)
Scraggly Pete is outside your window …
Old Pete looks in with eyes beaming …
He sees you naked on the bed, caressing your yomulis …
His lust burns hot …
His loins are afire ..
Do you think that door stops Scraggly Pete?
Are you crazy or high on cocaine?
an army of man eating gorillas?
wearing leather vests that have knives sticking out?
covered in composite armor and more knives?
and a trigger, attached to their heart, so if you kill it? – they explode swordfish style …
just 3 divisions … 45,000 gorillas, logistics too.
“I always listen to what boobs say …”
(and then she slapped me)
This is chisly-gus …
He used to play with Muddy Waters down by Baton Rouge, before the klingett-gang killed that guy … and the crossroads demon stole his soul in a card game …
But he saw the eye of death staring at him …
chunks of stringy flesh draping down ..
This is depressing …
The debates tonight? Predictions?
… at minute 34 …
Biden: “Arrr … rrrrr …. rrrr …”
Trump: “This is gonna be YUUUGE!”
Moderator: “What the hell Mr. Vice President …”
In a matter of seconds, because of an experimental bull semen treatment, Biden transforms …
… at minute 35?
Trump pulls out a 12 gauge revolver, titanium, arm-wrist support with recoil piston and cylinder progression blow back … 5 rounds go into Biden’s mungous face … Trump puts on a hockey mask.
Trump: “I am the Lord Humoungous … you thought you could win?”
pixelation in the supply chain precedes shortages
shortages precede famine
famine precedes chaos
chaos precedes hell on Earth
then the wookie folk stream out of British Columbia, sasquatch armies armed with steel pipe and bags of rocks … and .50 cal machine guns they carry.
A friend of mine reminded me of something the other day:
Old Testament times were VERY DIFFERENT …
If it smelled bad? – kill it, it’s a demon.
If it looks weird? – kill it, it’s a demon.
Perhaps Jesus also brought sanity, along with grace and forgiveness.
If I had a million dollars?
I would raise 10 mountain gorillas – 5 male, 5 female …
I would train them to each flesh, switch to a meat diet …
Teach them to make tools and start fires …
And release them into the Cascade Mountains …
there’s some kind of insurance scam in this … like “bigfoot camping insurance” …
… and we bundle these into tranches, giving them grades … from least likely to most likely to be eaten by bigfoot …
we sell these as “Fatality Backed Securities” or FBS …
we make bank
2020 is rife with shit, fucked up shit …
schadenfreude souffle mixed with dead panda entrails and monkey turds and old semen, jar’d up by the homeless dude off of Broadway …
And the crop circles? – they might be markers
Maybe the Aliens heard this
“I’m hoping one day we can find bigfoot … cuddle with him … make wookie love…”
Let’s talk about the “pros and cons” of space …
I think “space” is a grifter paradise.