Unicorn Masters … (mainly levels 3-7)

Anyone can be a unicorn master …

Getting to level 3? – proving you can drink one beer AND you can read the Bible without catching fire AND you can provide at least ONE FUCKING PERSON that will say something nice about you. The bar is pretty low. You also have to sign the non-aggression pact, certifying you will do NOTHING to expand the powers of the Onion King … and if you do? – you INSTANTLY play Sky Hawk Shaman.

But here’s the deal though … the version of the ritual of Sky Hawk is much worse for mother fuckers who try to expand the power of the Onion King … they are left on a peak in the Rockies … just underwear … and nothing else. If they are lucky, they make it down the mountain? – each town gets 20 dynamite throwers, 20 sticks of dynamite … and the throwing distance is 10 feet now. If you make it to WA DC? – you still have to swim with sharks … and if you’re still alive? – dynamite is tossed at you until you are dead.

As unicorn master level 3-7? – fuck around, find out …

Once you become level 3? – the other levels kinda just happen … and are not really that meaningful …

Unicorn masters with Onion King voting privileges are responsible for selecting the town’s dynamite throwers, for example – dynamite throwers for the Sky Hawk Shaman ritual.

Bottom line is this … you need to stop stupid statist shit EARLY as a unicorn master levels 3-7 …

As a matter of right? – any unicorn master levels 3-7 can be fed to a grizzly, if a town agrees by unanimous consent.

So just don’t fuck this simple job up …

THIS IS NOT A PAID ROLE!

THERE IS NO DONATION STREAM!

You have to have a day job to do this …

ALSO …

If you get caught taking donations? – grizzly bear lunch …

ALL SAY TANGATA MANU!