LSR Notes: 9/30/20

10:30 PM

This might be one of my favorite SHOCK-U-MENTARIES …

***

7:00 PM

***

5:53 PM

It feels like we’re starting “Season 1 of Jericho” soon …

***

5:29 PM

Next flying monkey contenders:

  1. 50%: WW3/limited-nuke-war with China or Russia or Both … perhaps starting with Israel/Iran exchange. Could be triggered by India/China/Pakistan three way.
  2. 20%: Covid-19 Part Deux: and maybe they use a real virus this time, and it’s actually lethal.
  3. 10%: Clathrate Gun
  4. 20%: Civil War

Or, could it be a combo of the above?

(could be)

***

5:15 PM

I will summarize last night’s debate:

EVERYBODY GETS A FUCKING VACCINATION!

***

5:13 PM

“What is the crime?”

In the year 3456 B.C., the Gunken-People of Trog-7, 3rd underground cave realm, decreed …

According to the fucking emperor, who was smoking crack …

That “the crime” was the person that stole his Hrumptian-hover-ship … and stole his bitches … hoes.

***

4:52 PM

The sky was not blue today … or partly cloudy.

The sky was “white with a hint of blue” …

(that’s the sky in #Seattle today)

***

4:44 PM

What if the next “flying monkey” is the #ClathrateGun?

I’m not saying it will be “the end”, but it could usher in the Satanic levels of tyranny we can’t imagine today.

Are they breaking the back of the climate system with geoengineering?

Matthew 24:22

***

4:34 PM

Here are my current theories on bigfoot:

  1. it’s just the collective manifestation of the male fear that some hairy beast will “steal my woman”.
  2. it was a way for gay men, in 70’s and 80’s, to hook up – “hey, we’re gonna hunt for bigfoot”.
  3. it’s Plum Island gene garbage.

***

3:27 PM

Me, yesterday, putting up posters on Roosevelt … in Seattle.

***

3:23 PM

Bigfoot is an alien.

He watches you while you sleep, while you make love to your woman …

He monitors your “technique” as you pleasure her, massage her hazookas …

He knows you are beyond your match … your woman needs a hairy touch … he needs her, and he will kill you.

***

9:36 AM

***

9:20 AM

How is #eschatology not #cosmology?

***

8:40 AM

I pay @SoundCloud money, each year.

They just culled about 30 followers from my account.

I get no email.

And since I have EMAIL EXCHANGE EVIDENCE with their tech support that a DONOR has been culled? – gee ….

I wonder why I’m so special.

@SasquatchLast

ShadowBan

In a “rule of law” world?

Given that I pay “Sound Cloud”?

I would form a class action, since it’s unlikely I’m the only one being fucked. And I would sue those fuckers.

But this is NOT a rule of law world.

(sorry)

(we crossed that Rubicon months ago)

***

8:31 AM

Confession:

When I was a kid? – I loved the MAC-10 …

Now I think the MAC-10 sucks …

I want a belt-fed suppressed 9mm wrist mounted gatling gun … with 1000 round ergonomic back pack …

(mixed AP and exploding ammo)

(for Christmas)

***

7:20 AM

“When someone is choking me, I’m less likely to listen to what they say.” – Dr. Freckles

The “Bone Pool” of Bremerton (WA) …

The “bone pool” is a local legend, first identified by a local raconteur … Jed Clankson (aka Jed MAGA) back in 2004.

He says he got drunk one night, and was led by the great Coyote Spirit to an island near Bremerton …

He says he stripped down and covered himself in whale mucous …

He howled at the bright blood moon, and found the ancient pool of bones, of his ancestors, where it was revealed to him that his real name is “Crooked Owl”, and that Jed was the 32nd Coyote Shaman of the Plumptick Fish Tribe of Bremerton.

No reputable anthropologist from the University of Washington can confirm this … or the existence of the tribe.

Kitsap County’s “Mist Problem”

Some mysterious mist is stealing cats … and eating them.

No one knows why …

A few months ago the U.S. Navy was doing something … something dark and ugly … near San Juan Island …

Ever since then? – there’s this mist that rolls into Kitsap County … and it steals cats … and leaves their carcasses near the Taco Time on 4th Street.

Grug’ing …

“Grug’ing” became popular, among progressives, after the election loss to Trump in 2016. A lot of Democrats went a little crazy … they began shoving produce up their butts, as a strategy for alleviating their despair.

After several months of shoving organic produce, washed and covered in virgin olive oil, up her butt? – Darya Moon of the N. California collective figured out that “washed and peeled potatoes” were best for grug’ing …

This led Darya to open the first holistic grug’ing clinic in Holliston Lake, CA.

Grug’ing consists of the following:

  1. peel and wash uncooked potatoes
  2. dip 3 medium sized potatoes or one large Idaho spud (peeled and washed) into virgin olive oil
  3. shove the potatoes up your butt, until you feel better
  4. then perform multiple yoga moves, with the potato in there … up your butt
  5. and you will feel better about Trump, if you do this for 45 minutes (fully clothed)

Road Line Commissioner

The Road Line Commissioner or County RLC is responsible for driving the county roads, periodically, randomizing routes and checking to see if the painted lines on the roads are clearly visible with low beams on at night … he or she cannot be drunk while doing this.

Also …

The Kitsap County RLC is also responsible for Trash Panda Monitoring

Can’t call them raccoons any longer … got to call them Trash Pandas …

He/she/it/Zed will count the trash pandas in Kitsap county, note their location with a GPS device … record these sightings … using paper …

They take that stack of paper? Recording Trash Panda sightings?

They stick that paper in a burn barrel …

And then they burn it.